I was at school, in the studio, and I saw you across the room. You looked nicer than you usually do but I couldn’t figure out why. You saw me and waved but didn’t come over to me because you were talking to someone. I didn’t go over to you because I didn’t know them. I started working on my new project; it isn’t going very well. I feel like a fraud but I know I’m not a fraud so I feel worse because I judge myself for feeling like a fraud. I was not making much progress. 

You came over then but I didn’t look up because you were standing very close and I thought it would feel too intimate if I did. You asked me how it was going. I said “Not so good.” 

You said “Well it looks pretty cool so far, what’s wrong?”

“It only looks cool because you’re imagining how much better it’ll be when it’s finished. Imagine if you saw this in an art gallery, though, you probably wouldn’t care.”

“I might care, I don’t know.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“Because it takes effort to care and some things are not worth the effort.” You looked at my piece while I continued working. I was doing more because you were watching me but I knew I would have to undo it all when you went away. It was not good. Then I thought that maybe I wouldn’t undo it, I would just leave it, and I felt worse. Out of the corner of my eye I could see you looking at me. “I had a dream about you.” I said.

“Last night?”

“Yeah, and the night before.”

“So you had two dreams about me?”

“It was the same dream.” I put my work down and looked up at you. You didn’t look away so we stared at each other. “I was in the great hall at school except it was a lot bigger and there was a giant staircase in the middle of it and lots of people walking around. I climbed up the staircase but it didn’t go anywhere, it just stopped at a big platform in the middle of the room, at the top. It was dark but there was a huge screen in front of me, not on the platform but on the wall. It was playing some kind of abstract video art but it was really immersive. You were there.”

“On the platform?”

“Yeah.”

“Did I say anything?”

“No, you just looked at me. In the dream we didn’t really know each other, we had just seen each other around sometimes. Maybe you smiled or something.” I picked up my work again, turning a piece over in my hand.

“I thought I would play a bigger role, based on you saying it was about me.”

“Well, the dream ends after I see you so I guess I wake up feeling like you play a bigger role in it than you actually do.”

“I wonder what it means.” You paused and I thought maybe you were going to leave. “How do you feel in the dream?”

I stopped to think about it. “Like there is a lot of potential to be somebody and be part of something interesting but it’s very far away from me.”

“Why do you think I’m there at the end?”

“I don’t know.”